It's election day!
No matter who you vote for, make sure your opinion is swayed by super-intelligent campaign advertising, like this gem from a Super Pac called the "Empower Citizens Network," currently running newspaper and television ads in Ohio:
Gotcha. African-Americans should vote for Mitt Romney, because he is in the same political party as Abraham Lincoln, who freed the slaves. So where do Democrats stand on slavery? They've been suspiciously silent, which means they'll probably enslave blacks again.
So you heard it here first- if Barack Obama is re-elected, he will put black people back into slavery, including himself and his family.
Of course, according this anti-Romney Super Pac, if you vote for Mitt, he'll probably murder your wife.
So when Super Pacs, who are like people except that we don't know who they are, say this is the most important election of your lifetime? They're right.
Want a return to the plantation economy or would you prefer a dead wife?
The choice is yours.
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