As the litany of tragic developments in the wake of super-storm Sandy continues, Bloomberg News presents a touching moment of human persistence in the face of overwhelming devastation:
JPMorgan, which sent out more than a dozen hurricane updates to its employees featuring detailed weather maps, kept parts of its 270 Park Ave. cafeteria open yesterday. Danishes and scones were available near the salad bar, and the bank’s deli had sandwiches with grilled vegetables. The dumpling bar was closed.
You heard me.
THE DUMPLING BAR WAS CLOSED.
It's times like these when the reality of this storm hits home. What in heaven's name is going on? What does it take to make America understand that real people, real bankers, real HUMAN BEINGS are being affected here?
I mean, sure there are a few crybabies around who lost their lives, were flooded out of their homes, don't have any power, or saw cherished landmarks of their youth swallowed by the sea, but they didn't work for JPMorgan, goddamnit. Here we have employees of one of the world's largest banks forced, FORCED to snack on deli sandwiches and grilled vegetables alone? These people have important decisions to make, and they must do so while totally deprived of their choice of a variety of dumplings? I shudder to think of the consequences of this horror. And what of the dipping sauces?
WHAT OF THE DIPPING SAUCES?!!?
There is so much we still don't know.
Hold your children tight America, and love them, and count your blessings, for there are people hurting in New York today. And they are hurting without a single dumpling.
[Wall Street Finds Sandy Silver Lining in Wine, Monopoly]
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