We're still reeling from the effort it took to stay awake excitement of the Vice Presidential debate between Vice President Joe Biden and U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan at Centre College in Danville, KY. Others will fact check but we're dumb. Think of us as "fun checkers."
Anyway, here are the five stupidest moments of the night with our ribbing for your pleasure:
1. Location, Location, Location
Centre College? Has anyone ever heard of this place? Apparently a bunch of vice presidents you wouldn't know of went there like John C. Breckinridge, a dude who also ran for prez on a pro-slavery platform (eek!) in 1860 and then took up arms against the United States before being expelled from the Senate as a traitor. Oh and the guy who founded the Hard Rock Cafe is also an alumnus. So if you want to sell burgers to tourists, or land an amazing job only if the guy ahead of you dies, then this is a great school for you.
Responding to Ryan's comments about the current administration's foreign policy the Vice President went Scranton gangsta on Ryan saying, "That is a bunch of Malarkey." Oh snap! If that doesn't seem extreme know that in 1923 you couldn't say "malarkey" on TV because it hadn't been invented.
3. Laughing Biden
Biden's laughing at Ryan really annoyed us mainly because — where was he when we were out doing those countless open mic nights? For more on this see Joe Biden Laughing PHOTOS: The Best Of The Vice President's Faces, Reactions In VP Debate.
4. Paul Ryan's Beanie Baby
Paul Ryan reveals he nicknamed his six-week-old Bean. Which bothers us because it is the nickname of nearly every embryo. It's as common as naming your Dalmation Spot. Show some creativity! How about naming your zygote something original like, say, Ming the Merciless or Chachi?
5. The Fact that they Even Have a Vice Presidential Debate
Unless one of the candidates had stripped naked and then performed the Gangnam Style dance on the table saying "Hey sexy lady!" at Martha Raddatz, the debate performance doesn't make a dang bit of difference. People don't vote for or against a Vice Presidential candidate so what we're saying is that the whole idea of a veep debate is — pardon our Irish — a bunch of malarkey!