This is Alvin. He belongs to a friend of mine who rescued him. He lives in upstate New York. Although I'm glad he was rescued, he is a hairless dog — possibly the dumbest pet ever.
After the jump, we'll consider the facts.
Keep reading to check out the top 10 reasons hairless dogs like Alvin are the dumbest pets ever.
1. Not having hair will make other dogs laugh at him.
2. That scarf won't stop him from becoming a dogcicle when the temperature drops below 65 degrees fahrenheit. His owner will need to get one of those outdoor cafe heat lamps and put it on casters for when they go for walks.
3. Petting dogs is fun. Petting leathery bat-wing dog skin? Less fun.
4. Most hairless dogs, like Alvin, have some hair. That's dumb.
5. You'll never be 100% sure if you adopted a hairless dog or some hard-living musician on the skids.
6. You may call it a Hairless dog but most people who come over will worry that your house was built on a Superfund site and that the toxicity leeching through the rugs made your dog's hair fall out.
7. Forget ever taking a nice vacation again — 90% of your income is now gonna go towards dog sweaters.
8. There are dogs with hair, ya know. You could've gotten one of those.
9. When they bark all you'll hear is, "I'm a freak of nature! Shoot me now!"
10. Hairless dogs look exactly like 80's TV puppet phenom ALF, only with less hair.
In conclusion hairless dogs are a highly absurdly dumb pet. Possibly the dumbest ever.
Are they cute? OMG — what a dumb question!
They are all sorts of insanely adorable.
Private to Alvin: Call me!