September 19th is a pretty big deal for people who enjoy acting like idiots, so all together, me hearties, it's TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!
The entire world is celebrating this, and there are all kinds of weird deals and things going on. For example, if you go into a Krispy Kreme wearing an eyepatch or talking like a pirate, you apparently receive a free donut.
But for you wiseacres who would like something a bit more creative than "Shiver me timbers!" to shout, here are five quotes from a few, shall we say, underquoted pirates:
1) "Eureka! At last, I Jean LaFoote, ze barefoot pirate, have my very own breakfast cereal!"
2) "Take the sex out of this movie, and it's Walt Disney."
3) "Congratulations to the Company/Owner…Having seen when my Pirate Action Group (P.A.G) had controlled over your valuable vessel we are saying to you Company/Owner welcome to Jamal's Pirate Action Group (J.P.A.G) and you have to follow by our law to return back your vessel and crew safely."
-Pirate Commander Jamal, an actual Somali pirate, from a letter presented to the owner and insurer of a hijacked oil tanker and obtained by Reuters
4) "They narrowed it down to one main fine."
5) "I want to thank all the friends and family that made this long trip up here to listen to me speak and hear this crap. Thank you very, very much. Thanks everybody. That's enough."
-Bill Mazeroski, former second baseman for the Pittsburgh Pirates, speaking at his induction to the baseball hall of fame.
Of course, if you want something a little more traditional, you can always go with my favorite pirate joke:
Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: THE SEA!!!!!!!
Photo: Oren neu dag (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons