Here's one way to get everything off your chest.
Val Patterson (pictured, left) died of throat cancer earlier this month, just after writing his own first-person obituary. Patterson confesses to stealing a safe and to being banned from Disneyland, among other shocking secrets. Click here to read the hilarious obit in full.
'I AM The Guy Who Stole The Safe': Man Comes Clean In Hilarious Obituary
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