1. Damn it, Mom! (via foul-lines)
2. What a dummy. Everyone knows you have to wear your cape for that to work. (via humortrain)
3. Go to hell, Siri. If you get lost, just Google it. (via lenacares)
4. Um… what did I just spend $6 on? (via tumblefunny)
5. "Hey, Jim. What are you gonna do with that hideous old couch?" "Well, Bob, I have a great idea…" (via collegehumor)
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