Lone Thought State  I'll grant you, reading the official platform of a state political party is a pretty terrible way to determine how a state is eventually governed. That being said, dear Texas Republicans, when you actively come out against "critical thinking" you're not on the way to winning any brain power awards. [Truthout]

Monster Mash  Probably the low point of my Thanksgiving last year was when I was late to dinner, and the instant mashed potato machine wouldn't take any of my dollar bills. [Tosh.0 Blog]

I Wouldn't Buy That For A Dollar This is super dumb for two reasons. One, they are remaking Robocop? C'mon. Second, the dude from BroBible admitted he wrote a college paper comparing Robocop to Jesus? There's a reason these dudes dropped out. [BroBible]

Hope I Never Lose My Wallet Quick, do you know where your wallet is? If the answer is "no," don't panic. Here are some dos and don'ts for how to handle the situation. DO: Think about the last place you left your wallet and retrace your steps. DON'T: Call 911 eight times and threaten to kill everyone at the police department. [Oconee Patch]

Blue Light Special, Red Light District Kind of odd that big box stores have a stick up their butt about what kind of CDs you can buy, but don't have a stick up their butt about things that– well, stick up your butt. [Trentonian]

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