I had a friend who once gave me this great bit of advice, "Life is easy, just stay out of jail and don't lose your keys." The first part comes naturally to me, though I am still working on the second part. But for some people staying out of jail is as hard as trying to solve a Rubik's cube. People fail at it every day and none so spectacularly as this bizarre driver who decided to play bumper cars with a cement wall.
Plus, if you're going to lie to the cops about why you were driving like a maniac, try and come up with a better excuse than wanting to make your "swag" look good. You need to put some effort into it because claiming to "not know what drugs are" won't convince anyone, especially the judge. On second thought, how about NOT breaking the law at all! It’s a crazy idea, I know, but hear me out! This really works! So in honor of the wise sage (who was actually a bartender and part time drummer) who gave me that great bit of advice, I'm going to give you my tips for staying out of jail.
Tip #1) Don't break the law.
There is no tip number two! For reals, that’s it! You probably thought you were going to have to take notes but it really is THAT easy! Now if anyone’s good at not losing their keys, your advice would be greatly appreciated.