Heart Of Gold, Brain Of Lead No one is saying that the Miss America pageant is the best way to find the country's brightest minds. Still, if you were asked for a movie that portrays women in a positive light, your first answer shouldn't be "the one where the hooker uses floss." [Huff Post Weird]

Mean Girls Yes, the worst part of being caught STEALING COOKIE MONEY FROM A 9-YEAR-OLD GIRL SCOUT is that you "don't get to keep the money." Check out video of two heartless teenage morons. [Videogum]

Just A Heads Up  There isn't anything exceptionally dumb about this, but I do have a contractual obligation to share any headline reading "Canadian Porn Star Cannibal Arrested in Germany." My contract is weird. [Daily Intel]

Houston Street, We Have A Problem The space shuttle is in New York City for less than a day and already some jerk dings the paint up? Figures. [NewYorkology]

Antisocial Media You know how I'm NOT going to promote this blog post? By tweeting this: "Hey lady– GREAT BUTT! For more more incredible butts, read the dumb news!" [Mashable]

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