WARNING: This graphic list of penis inventions will probably make your member ache for no real reason other than the fact that it is frightened.
For instance, the "Penis Exercise Machine" resembles nothing like what you may want to place on your wang and more like some sort of genital noose you might find in a Saw movie. Besides, why on earth would anyone even need a P.E.M.? Because your love stick is too fat? I'm sure that's a problem most men would like to have.
This and six more scary penile inventions here. Read at your own risk.