I am not a gorgeous celebrity with a personal trainer and a diet coach, so what you're probably asking is: "Why, Ritch, are you so universally adored?" Why do women want you, men want to be you and children want you to push them on the swings?

I have but one answer for that and it is this: Honesty.

When I order a plate of food, unlike this gallery of celebrities who seem to be pretending to be "just like the rest of us," I eat it. And while eating it, I usually spill a liberal portion of it down the front of my shirt. It is this wanton disregard for table manners or decorum that judgmental Trotskyites call "being a slob," but true Americans call "keeping it real."

I'll say it: I feel pretty good about admitting who I really am, and not taking fake pictures in front of food I don't plan to eat.

Now- who would like to watch me do the Cat Daddy in my underpants?

[CELEBRITIES PRETENDING TO EAT FOOD]

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