Poorly Trained When a spokesman for the New York City Transit Authority was shown this video of Brooklyn teens apparently playing chicken with a speeding subway train, they issued a statement reading in part "you can't outlaw stupidity."  [NBC New York]

Bare-line Security Tired of being harassed by the TSA? Well here's one solution, strip nude and have your hairy white ass show up on CNN. No offense, I'd prefer the patdown. [CNN]

Our Effing Village This quaint Austrian village with a very NSFW name is pretty (name of village) tired of people stealing all their (name of village) signs, and wish these thieves would stop (name of village) around, and find something else to do for fun, like, oh, I don't know, (name of their village)? [Gawker]

Bacon King First of all, a "burger with a 1000 strips of bacon on it," isn't a burger, it's a pile of bacon. Still, there's video of the awful thing, and it includes this picture:

Yeah, that pretty well sums up the Internet for the past five years or so. Watch if you dare. [BroBible]

Nice Jewish Girls Women! Can't live with them, can't live without them. In this specific case, the reason you can't live with them is because they could easily kill you. [Izismile]

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