Top-shelf baby batter A 36-year-old virgin has fathered 14 kids, but claims to be a virgin. The Silicon Valley sperm donor says he's never had a sex partner and feels it's his duty to the couples who use his juice not to deplete the in-demand supply. I hope being a complete weirdo isn't genetic. [HuffPost Weird]

Up in smoke Because everything Jay-Z touches naturally turns to gold, LA pot dealers are peddling a new strain of weed called "Blue Ivy," named after Jay-Z and Beyoncé's baby girl. [TMZ]

Two lady flowers A cute, blonde British woman is suffering from a rare condition known as uterus didelphys, aka she has two fully-formed vaginas. She even confesses that she technically had to lose her virginity not once, but twice. That, plus likely having two periods a month?! Poor girl. [Guyism]

Killer Rice Krispies If you're miserable in your marriage, poison is most definitely not the answer. A California man is being held on bail after he allegedly tried to murder his wife by poisoning her morning bowl of Rice Krispies. Seriously. [HLNtv]

Sad Packer This Packers fan couldn't control her sadness as she was videotaped bawling her eyes out after Sunday's loss to the New York Giants. With a big ol' cheese on her head, she cries and blames the green sparkles on her nails for the massive football failure. Everybody knows that purple nail polish is the winning color. [BroBible]

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