"Hey again folks! Pappy O'Daniel here from 'Pappy's Git-R-Down and Blow 'Em Up Demolition Crew' with a special offer. Have you got an old retaining wall that's just standing around and taking up space? Have you got a clunker of a junker that's just sitting around and taking up space? We can not only turn both of them into a smoldering pile of twisted metal and busted brick for just one price, but we can also take care of them in the same day! Hell, we can even git-r-done in the same job.
"All you gotta do is tell one of our team of 24-hour customer service specialists (aka my bed-ridden wife Enid) that you want our new 'two for one' special and they'll instruct you to park your unwanted vehicle right next to the wall. Then our team of demolishing experts will tear down the wall and let nature take its course to crush your car into one flat-ass piece of resell-able scrap metal. And every job comes with Pappy's guaranteed guarantee: my crew will tear down the side of the wall on the correct side so it falls on top of the car or I'll let you fire the wrecking crew personally."
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