This will suck We all know the Twilight books and movies. The vampires are all glittery and the werewolves look like Benetton models. Seriously, is it any stupider if they sing? [CNN]

Gas prices on the rise In a thrilling followup story, the fart in a jar we reported on yesterday (twice, actually) has a new high bid of 49 dollars. For a fart. In a jar. In its defense, it is probably better than the Twilight musical. [eBay]

Presidential punchlines Apparently, this audience of high school kids are so aware of their own incompetence that when the President of the United States says "you inspire me," they interpret it correctly, with raucous laughter. [RealClearPolitics]

Hot mess It was no longer a chicken. That was for sure. Before the wretched creature was thrust into the boiling oil, none of us could be sure that the nightmare was over. As it was removed, glistening and motionless, we knew that whatever it was, we would never forget it. The "deep fried chicken thing" would haunt our souls until the day we died. [Daily What]

It's not complicated  Posting any sexual material involving a minor is obviously super gross, disgusting and wrong. But when you post it on, of all places, Facebook, and you have no idea that the law might not look favorably on that behavior, you can tack "stupid" onto your already impressive list of character flaws.  [Miami New Times]

Tree Haus Sure, it's cute when they climb a tree, but then you need the fire department to get them to come down. Or Robert Smith. [Gothsuptrees]

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