Certifiably dumb 
Glove, no love "Congress shall make no law…abridging the freedom of the press." That's from a little ditty called The First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, and thanks to that precious freedom, we finally have the full story of the item we posted yesterday about the beer league hockey player who dropped a deuce into his opponent's hockey glove. [Deadspin]
Stayin alive How is baseball slugger Albert Pujols exactly like John Travolta? Watch the Sully Baseball video and find out. [YouTube]
Missle toe Is there really a war on Christmas? If so, here are the broad strokes of the major combatants.[Conspiratorium]
The Pee-iew! I'm going to assume, for the sake of this news item, that you are an adult. Free to make your own choices. So you, and you alone can decide if you want to click this link, which will take you to a website where you can watch a video of Whoopi Goldberg farting on The View. [Videogum]
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