You don't deserve the Internet. No, not you. You. Instead of taking advantage of the vast awesomeness that is the World Wide Web, you behave like a ridiculous imbecile and do dumb things like check your MySpace page, annoy the rest of us with your lame Facebook campaigns and write about oversaturated topics like kittens, cupcakes and kittens lounging on cupcakes.
You, my non-friend, should be banned from the Internet for all of eternity, right after you read this list of 10 very valid reasons why.