I avoid the gym at all costs. I despise it. And these 15 dumbest things about going to the gym are precisely why I hate it.

Sometimes, when I especially hate my love handles, I will venture out into the stinky, sweaty abyss of tiny towels and GTL-obsessed greaseheads to fast-walk on the treadmill. I always check-in on Foursquare, just to let my "friends" know that yes, I am healthy and awesome. But I am secretly not, because working out once every couple of weeks does nothing for your cheese gut and chocolate ass. I know this first-hand. Yet, there is no other way.

Maybe one day, science will discover a type of macaroni & cheese that increases metabolism and melts fat poundage. But until then, I will continue to brave the spinning classes, the dry sauna and the obnoxious club music every couple of weeks. If anything, just to keep up appearances.

15 Dumbest Things About Going To The Gym

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