A man in Valleyjo, Calif. spent nine hours stuck in a public park swing meant to hold babies after some friends bet him he couldn't fit in it and left him there overnight, say police.
Of course, he didn't do this on a "dry run." He actually lubed himself up with laundry detergent before he wedged his fat butt into the swing. So clearly, he had some common sense.
Let's call this cautionary tale an example of "Darwin Lite," That's when an imbecile doesn't lose his life making a poor life choice. There's always next time, of couse. But make no mistake: this wasn't some innocent caper or silly dare gone wrong. This moron actually wasted a lot of people's time. He not only forced fire officials to damage a piece of taxpayer-funded property, but he also took away some valuable time and resources from the police and fire officials who responded to the call and even the hospital who had to literally cut him out of the swing that hopefully cut off blood supply to his manparts long enough to prevent him from ever breeding.