Till Alzheimer's do you part 
Guinness isn't good for you So the Guinness Book of World Records really is dumb, isn't it? Nobody really seems jazzed up to make a go at the World Record for, say- "most children lifted out of poverty," or "most diseases cured by a single medical lab." Whatever. Here's video of an old stripper and a chick with a really long tongue. [CNN]
Say it ain't so, Jonas One of the Jonas Brothers shoots a "scandalous" music video. You know, if my book was selling for $0.20 at Borders this week, I'd mix things up a little too. [MarqueeBlog]
Toe job Man who mistakenly sawed his thumb off has his big toe attached to his hand. Finally, Megan Fox has someone to play hand-footsie with. [Huff Post Weird]
Burn before reading Bottom line, the mailman isn't supposed to set fire to your mail. Of course, if I could hire someone to burn the three duplicate Babies-R-Us catalogs I get every two weeks, I'd do it in a heartbeat. [The Telegraph]
A place to put my stuffing I don't want any animals taxidermied. Or is it taxidermed? Taxidermized? If I did though, I'd go with Chuck Testa. Is this fake? Maybe. Still funny, though. [Daily What]
Garden tool Wanna see a kid blasting himself in the face with a leaf blower? Cause that's what this link gives you. No more, no less. Oh go ahead, you work hard most days. [Videogum]
Va-va-Voomsday DARK CLOUD: The world might end in 2012. SILVER LINING: Everybody into the porn bunker! [CBS Los Angeles]
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