It has recently been brought to my attention that Apple's popular MacBook Air laptop can double as a kitchen knife, should you find yourself in a cooking emergency with absolutely no sharp-edged tools at your disposal. Numerous videos showcase the pricey device being used to chop up foods like apples, carrots, mushrooms, bread and shrimp.
ARE YOU INSANE?! My MacBook is my life. Literally. Aside from my father and my cat, it holds everything near and dear to me within its shiny, sleek walls. I take better care of it than I do myself.
Doesn't matter if you're trying to be funny and cute and become a YouTube sensation more famous than Rebecca Black with your dumb MacBook cooking videos. If you're going to physically abuse the greatest gift man has ever received (the Apple computer) by running the risk of getting carrot juice in the keyboard and shrimp bits in the USB port, you may as well just give me your money. Because that's just asking for the little Sad Mac guy to pop up on your screen with the news that your harddrive has been wiped out due to your experimental cooking show.
And if you still insist on chopping crap with your MacBook, at least use it to slice something good. Like cheese or chocolate-chip cookie dough.