High school needs to stay where it belongs — in high school. Class reunions are no more than a sorry excuse to booze it up and show your peers what you have or haven't accomplished in 10 years, be it a beer gut or a business card that says you invented Post-Its.
If you want to hang out with your high school sweetheart, send her a Facebook message and ask her on a date. If you feel the need to show that jock who made your life hell back in the day that you are now a body-building champion, find out where he works, show up unnannounced, scream "In yo' FACE!" as you flex your guns and then drive off.
It doesn't matter if you were prom queen, the quarterback, the debate nerd or the goth chick who thought she was a vampire, these reunion parties are unnecessarily stressful and angst-ridden for all in attendance. Everyone feels they have something to prove — that they are smarter than a football, that they can turn their geek talent into a million-dollar business, that they can mate with someone hot and reproduce kids who are probably better than yours. And at the end of the night after comparing everyone else's achievements to our own, we're left feeling like sh*t because either we're still single or we're still working drive-thru at Taco Hell. Or maybe we're married with kids, but we're dealing with some other closet issue that makes us feel inferior.
Are we all so insecure and uncomfortable with ourselves that we need to overcompensate by seeking approval from people we couldn't care less about? And it's true — unless they're you're friends whom you see on a regular basis, these classmates are likely not people you even care to see. So the next time someone you were forced to study with 15 years ago asks the dreaded question, "Do you remember me?" Simply reply, "Hell no. I don't want to get to know you either." And bolt. Go spend time with people whose company you actually enjoy, like your friends and family.
Why class reunions matter so much
The Worldwide Leader in Dumb! Find us on Facebook and Twitter.
