Rage in the cage OMG!!!! Did you see what the animals did before and during the earthquake!! Stop it, please. Here's a short version of this article: "When the earthquake hit the zoo, the animals were like WTF!!! Except the pandas. The pandas were real chill, man." [National Zoo]

Dead tired C'mon people, the vampire craze ended months ago. [WLSAM]

Boxer's celebrity is brief When the Octamom gets into a boxing match with a strip club bartender, it isn't celebrity boxing. For that, you need celebrities. And boxing. [AOL]

Must love sharks Here's an article about a rather extreme pro-shark activist that starts out with the line: "Sharks are the Adolph Hitlers of the ocean." It just gets dumber from there. [Miami New Times]

Apps and robbers The Surrey police department has released a new mobile phone app that tells you where the cops are. But couldn't this be used to tell you where they aren't? BONUS DUMB: I got all excited when I saw the title of this article. Then I realized it said "Bobbies." [Asylum UK]

Anti-social media Idiot goes on vacation to Hawaii, manages not to tweet about it. ALERT THE MEDIA. [Huff Post Weird]

Geek dad This is pretty much the best way to teach your kid to be as big of nerd as you are, without you know, doing actual homework. [This Kevin]

Explaining the joke It's funny because the education system in this country is crumbling into useless dissarray! [HappyPlace]

Never forget. OK, this you can forget. If there's a dumber way to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks than a flask featuring a weeping Superman watching the twin towers burn, then I don't know about it. Of course, it's still early. The first week of September is really gonna suck. [Gothamist]

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