Have you ever been scared while walking home alone at night?

Are you concerned that the world has gotten so violent that you need to take action, if only to give you the illusion of control? Well, we hear you, but that's still no reason to order a ridiculous looking glove made of knives, or a necklace that spits pepper spray (pictured.)

Of course, these are just drawings from the US Patent office, which means that some of these ridiculous items may not even be for sale anywhere, it just means that some stooge thought it would be a good idea to lock down the rights. Wanna see the whole list? Check out:

The 10 dumbest self defense patents of all time.

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