If you’re a grown man walking around my neighborhood in a bunny suit, I am going to chase you with a baseball bat. There is no reason why any adult should be seen in public dressed up in a bunny suit. Here’s a short list of who can wear bunny suits in polite society: no one can. This rule doesn’t apply if you’re a sports mascot at a sports stadium. Miserable souls forced to wear animal suits and pass out fliers for local businesses also get a pass.
But if I see you outside my apartment dressed in a bunny suit, I’m going run out of my front door with a golf club and go berserk. Hoot and bellow. Chase you back down your rabbit hole.
A 34-year-old man in Idaho
should be lucky he doesn’t live in Queens, New York. According to authorities, this guy liked to mosey around his hood dressed in a black bunny suit. Residents called the police when a local child complained that the bunny-man was hiding behind a tree and, allegedly, pointed his bunny-finger at the kid like a gun.
The authorities gave the man a strong warning: don’t wear the bunny suit in public. This freak got off easy. Maybe Idaho is more tolerant than New York. Because, I swear, I would hunt down any dude dressed up like a giant stuffed animal and be all "hey, fella, you're kinda freaking me out."
Now, I’m a believer in our justice system. In such concepts as due process and habeas corpus. Technically, this man didn’t do anything wrong. But I would be totally fine in this instance if the police took his bunny suit, torched it, and let the dude cool his heels in jail for a couple days or years.
A man in a bunny suit is as disturbing as a drunk clown or a man dressed up like his dead mother. Probably more disturbing.
The police might have preempted something awful from happening, but it’s only a matter of time until this man walks outside again in his bunny suit. He’s probably sitting in his basement right now, underneath a single, naked light bulb, in his bunny suit. Waiting. Plotting. Rubbing his paws together.
Man In Bunny Suit Gives Town The Creeps
The Worldwide Leader in Dumb! Find us on Facebook and Twitter.