We've all had teachers who've left a lasting impression on us, but more and more, it's because they gave us pot brownies when we were in 7th grade or punched a kid in the face. All it takes is one bad apple to spoil the bunch and undermine all of the good, hardworking teachers out there.
As the school year comes to a close, we've decided to commemorate the foibles and felonies committed by cuckoos in the classroom. Here are 10 dumb teacher who failed to make the grade… as educators and as human beings.
10.) Facebook 101: Don't tell everyone you hate your job and students
I grew up thinking teachers were mysterious creatures with no outside life who slept standing up in lockers. Now on Facebook, your teacher can friend request you and shatter your illusion that they not only have friends and families, but emotions. Bad emotions that need to be expressed via social networking. One teacher in Manatee, FL lost his job after letting his online community know that he hated his job, hated coming to work and hated his students. [big1059.com]
9.) Some teachers get 'clucked' up on the job
Teaching is a tough job and there isn't a cup of coffee strong enough to help you make it through the day. So when that happens, why not choose a bottle of Gatorade spiked with liquor? One teacher in Massachusetts opted for liquid breakfast and allegedly started flapping her "wings" while she clucked like a chicken in front of the classroom and also asked a student "how would it feel to have a bullet in his head." No more sports drink and booze for you, lady. [thesmokinggun.com]
8.) "T" is for "turn around, ima 'bout to pee in a garbage can"
There are definitely some situations in life that call for an adult diaper or a handy-dandy Stadium Buddy so you can carry on with the task at hand and discreetly relieve yourself. Generally speaking, substitute teaching is not one of these situations. A 60-year-old teacher in Riverdale, GA told his class of 4th graders to not look at him while he whipped it out and peed into a garbage can. Perhaps this was his attempt at teaching the class an extremely valuable lesson: Just because someone is an adult doesn't mean you should trust them or let them teach. [cbsatlanta.com]
7.) 3 months off is a really long time to go without another job…
What do teachers do with that long vacation over the summer? If you haven't saved up, that's a long time to go without pay. Have no fear though, some teachers are skilled in many other industries that they can always dabble in on the side, like a NYC art teacher in The Bronx who was a sex worker before becoming a teacher. It's no surprise she was well-liked by students and also knew that in a gossip-driven city, being outed for a sordid past will result in a book deal. Paying attention, kids? [aolnews.com]
6.) If you weren't 'cool' in high school, redeem yourself as a 'cool' teacher
Many people think back to high school and wish for a re-do. Maybe they would have asked Annette to the prom or finally stood up to that bully who made their life hell. Another option is to go back to high school as a teacher. You can make up for all those parties you didn't get invited to by being the life of the party since you're the only person of legal age. A 26-year-old New Jersey teacher was busted for allegedly pretending to tutor high school kids out of his apartment but was actually teaching students an intensive course on all things bong-related. [nydailynews.com]
5.) Things get too real in anatomy class. Wait. This is accounting.
Some teachers go to great lengths to illustrate their lessons. Maybe they spend free time off the clock working to add that extra little something to their lectures so that students will really benefit from class. Then there are some teachers who for no reason whatsoever strip naked in front of an accounting class like a professor at Georgia University did this fall. When interviewed about the incident he replied, "what happened was between me and my students." I'll say. [abc.go.com]
4.) School shooting threats aren't just for dumb students anymore
Art teachers are usually the most colorful crayon in the box and whether it's finger painting or more focused fine arts like still life they are teaching, expression is always encouraged. But when it comes down to having an artistic temperament, sometimes keeping a tighter lid on it is a good idea. An art teacher in Brooklyn, NY had a bad enough day to loudly threaten that she was going to bring a gun to school and go on a "Columbine-style massacre", "settle some scores" and "do what needs doing." [cbslocal.com]
3.) If you can't beat 'em, moon 'em
I've certainly learned a thing or two about how to win an argument by watching my parents fight dirty. Turns out they are qualified to teach a college course class after finding out that a debate professor from Fort Hays University in Kansas lost his cool during a heated argument,started jumping around like a crazed ape and hurling expletives at the other debate coach. His piece-de-resistance though was turning around to moon the class and faculty. [cbsnews.com]
2.) Explosive teacher was sent to the principal's office jail again
Teacher's with extremely high IQ's and a penchant for chemistry should be lauded for their book smarts, but you better keep a bomb squad handy when they start to show symptoms of being the next Unabomber. A California teacher had already been down to the precinct earlier in the week for helping her students inhale chloroform (?!) and landed right back in the clink when manufactured explosives were discovered in her classroom. [huffingtonpost.com]
1.) Do as I say, not as I do
It's agreed that many teachers are notoriously over-worked and underpaid. Moonlighting as a bartender on weekends isn't unheard of to make a little extra dough. Trafficking heroin is probably taking it a little far though, right? A celebrated teacher and coach in Detroit, MI was accused of possession of heroin with the intent to sell. Ironically, the paraphernalia and cash was stuffed inside trophy boxes belonging to the formerly victorious coach. [myfoxdetroit.com]