You are looking at a product called "The Ostrich." Although it looks like it could be a super-comfy chefs hat or an adorable sex toy, it is actually neither.
So what the hell is that?
The Ostrich is a sleep-aid for individuals who need to get some shut-eye at work and don't care what people think because they are already the most hated person at the office. This is more ridiculous than an inflatable tie.
You simply crawl into the discreet, womb-like enclosure head first and then slip your hands in the side pockets for warmth and zonk out because it seems like your air supply is cut off within minutes.
I am guessing that co-workers then take turns interrupting your sacred little nap by punching you in the back of your dumb skull.
I was thinking of places other than work where this product might be useful and realized that it's not useful anywhere, including an office. Can we all agree to man-up and just get some shut-eye in a bathroom stall like a reasonable human being? Can we NOT handle being awake for 8 hours at a time at our mind-numbingly, soul-vacuuming, pointless jobs?
Could we just pick ourself up by the boot straps and suffer quietly through the treachery of 9-5 modern life and then go home to our role-playing and substance abuse as a means to decompress, off the clock? Sure, the aforementioned substance abuse makes it really hard to stay awake the next day in your cubicle when you've gone and gotten yourself into a vicious cycle. But do the respectful thing and sleep under your desk, okay? Ugh.
This is just pathetic. Does The Ostrich have a slogan? No? Well here's one I just made up:
Life is stressful so bury your head in the sand. And by sand we mean flannel vagina, you vagina.
Yes, I admit wearing a Snuggie at my desk has turned a few heads, but this is going too far.
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