You Can't Be SEALious. Don Shipley, an ex-Navy SEAL who exposes impostors falsely claiming to be SEALS says that since the death of Osama bin Laden, hoaxes like this have multiplied. Shipley isn't interested in liars who brag in bars, he's after the guys in high-profile jobs who profit from false claims of war heroism. Translation: if you're just trying to pick up women in a bar, go ahead and claim you were with SEAL Team Six. Just don't run for Senate. [Daily TImes]

Game Over When a kid in China defied his father's ban on video games, his dad did the only sensible thing. Stripped the kid naked right there in the internet cafe and dragged him through the street in front of all his friends.  [Daily Mail]

If You Have To Ask, The Answer Is Yes The Dove soap company is loudly denying that their new print ad is racist, despite everyone on the internet making fun of how it could obviously be seen that way. Dove's in a tough spot here, since if they aren't openly racist, they sure are dumb for not seeing how it could be viewed that way. [Buzzfeed]

Baby Steps A Senator from Oklahoma is shocked that the National Science Foundation is using taxpayer money to teach robots to fold laundry. We take a broader view- at least they aren't just openly watching porn at work anymore. [ABC News]

What Can Brown Do For You? You know the old saying: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers  from swiftly defecating on their appointed lawns." Wait, what? Yep, a postman pooped on somebody's lawn. Kept his job, too. [KOMONEWS.com]

Propha-Cadillac-tic? Failing to have safe sex can be costly, in the form of an unwanted pregnancy, or an STD. Now, thanks to an entrepreneur's new line of Naked Brand "luxury" condoms, safe sex ain't cheap either, to the tune of more than $50 for a box of 12. On the bright side, if you keep condoms in your wallet, there will be a lot more room in there.  [AOL Weird]

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