Hope It Doesn't Rain A new study shows that 50 percent of Americans are so dumb, they would not be able to quickly pull together $2,000, should an emergency expense arise. Either that, or it shows that when a total stranger calls an American's house and asks if they have an extra two grand lying around, 50 percent of them are smart enough to answer, "No." [CNN]
To Air Is Human A truck driver who mistakenly slipped and pierced his buttock on the compressed air reservoir that powered his vehicle's brakes had 100 pounds per square inch of air enter his body. Through his butt. Guess how it came out? Same way. Eww. [AOL Weird]
Dumb Luck, Puck Are you one of those stupid sports fans who whines that they don't watch hockey because they "Can't see the puck?" Well, that would make you just like every player on the San Jose Sharks, who were eliminated from the Western Conference Finals in double overtime last night by the dumbest hockey goal you will ever see. [Puck Daddy]
Lane Brain When a 20-year-old Florida woman went out on a date to a local bowling alley, she left something important behind: her 9-month old baby. She told police she was sorry she "split," but to "spare" her the hassle, cause that's "just how she rolls." She was locked up, but after writing that, maybe I should be, too. [Al.com]
Politically Incorrect When signing the guestbook at Westminster Abbey earlier today, President Obama wrote the following: "It is a great privilege to commemorate our common heritage, and common sacrifice. Barack Obama 24 May 2008" I'm not sure, but when you fly overseas, I only think you set your watch back a few hours… [New York Magazine]
Dog Tired? New Yorkers must seriously hate this panhandling dog. Not only does he not have a job, but he smokes?!!! [NBCNY]
Go Team! To the Doctor! Need another reason Vuvuzelas are dumb? How about the fact that you're breathing in the diseased saliva haze of thousands of your fellow sports fans? [Wired.com]
