Yesterday you were lavishing your sweet little mom or grandmother with tacky gifts on Mother's Day and she sat there innocently accepting your flowers and cards. But it turns out she doesn't need your junk 'cause she's been running with a grey-haired bad girls club that steals from innocent shoppers and has collectively raked in over $500,000 in stolen goods, cash and credit card shopping sprees!
Instead of participating in the popular group for aging women known as The Red Hat Society, this group of alleged bandits are making headlines in the Metro-Detroit area as the 'Mad Hatters'. The group wears eccentric hats while they pose as innocent motherly types and instead of meeting for tea they drain your bank account and swipe your purse. They are alleged to be a large group of women working together and I am assuming they didn't meet at an Oprah book club meeting.
While I am supposed to heavily disagree with theft and stealing, there is something sort of awesomely bucket list-y about this gang of women who I would surmise have spent a large chunk of their lives being ignored and not having any thrills. Yes, it sucks that they couldn't get together and swindle their rotten ex-husbands and are instead robbing innocent people, but wow. The cojones on these women are impressive and they are making a name for themselves across Michigan.
I imagine the geriatric get away vehicle is a Lincoln Town Car or an Oldsmobile and the women meet-up at Panera to have some soup in a bread bowl and count their loot before they go on a shopping tear at J. Jill and Yankee Candle Company. I could be totally wrong about them though. Maybe they smoke stogies, drink Johnny Walker Black and pool the money for a trip to Monaco where they will then have young men rub their bodies down with exotic oils.
Either way, this is a clear message we need to stop ignoring this age bracket of women and treating them like they're only good for chores, cookie baking and a birthday card with 20 bucks in it. There's nothing more dangerous than a scorned woman with sticky fingers and even if it's illegal, these women have found a new way to get lots of attention.
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