Nothing says "f-you" like receiving a gift card as a present. It's one of the most thoughtless and lazy gifts and usually it's for something that you won't use or wouldn't do– like eat at Applebee's. But there is some good news for those of us with piles of this unused junk; prostitutes are now accepting plastic in the form of gift cards!
Talk about re-gifting.
Thanks to area police cracking down a lot harder on these ladies of the night, the women have wised up and stopped carrying loot from recent transactions so the po-po can't seize their cashola. It also looks less conspicuous to be a fancy lady carrying a wallet lined with Verizon rebate Visa cards than a garter belt stuffed with sticky twenties.
Sure, some of the classier johns like senators and celebs might be forking over pre-paid Amex cards to these working girls, but what can the rest of us schmucks with limited illegal sex funds get when we have $4.82 cents left on a Dunkin Donuts gift card? Read on to find out…
Ladies love Bed Bath and Beyond, Bath & Bodyworks, The Body Shop or any store combining the words bath and body and beyond. A gift card to one of these establishments should be redeemable for a sensual massage with full release. Just make sure there's enough money left on there to buy something better than a toilet scrubber.
Women have to eat after a long night of walking the streets. You can offer up some fine dining at Red Lobster, Chili's, TGI Friday's or Ruby Tuesdays. If there's enough money to get more than an appetizer tower, expect an enthusiastic HJ.
Gift cards to places like Radio Shack or Best Buy can be a major turn-off for a lady who doesn't get as excited about tech as you do. Be sure to remind her that cute accesories like bedazzled cell phone cases are available for purchase as well as dvd's like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants which she can cozy up to and watch on a slow night. This kind of gift card will probably only get you a spanking.
Money cards. Now that's what these women really, truly want. Any sort of pre-paid card that can be spent any which way she pleases is definitely a valid form of payment for doing the nasty with your nasty self. It's covert cash in hand and keeps these ladies in business and out of jail.
Next time you feel cheated about getting a gift card, rest assured that there are now a few ways to turn a trick with it.
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