We all know that fast food is "evil" and that the crazy red-headed clown wants us dead despite the eery smile on his face. I mean, there's scientific data and FDA backing proving that every chain littering America's highways is serving us vein-clogging, cancer-making, Frankenstein food, but somehow, somehow revenue is up.
You know why? Because Americans are BROKE and goodness knows we're hungry.
And when you're broke, you march right past the organic section where one red bell pepper costs $3 and instead use that money to buy a garbage bag full of food from Taco Bell. How's that for a south of the border deal?
I like to pretend I'm a healthy person, but when push comes to shove my diet gets downright weird despite wanting to fill up a shopping cart at Whole Foods. If I moved back in with my parents I could maybe afford to dine there exclusively but that ain't happening. Ordering a large pizza from Papa John's on a Monday and living off of it until Friday is what's really going down.
Until healthy and organic food choices become affordable and available everywhere- including gas stations- we raise our sodium bloated hands and salute the almighty golden arches because not only can you eat a wheel barrow full of it for around 5 bucks, it tastes good! (It hurts to admit that since I am audibly wheezing as I type and out of breath every time I waddle to the fridge) but here are 10 reasons fast food is awesome when you're broke.
10. This food stays good for months on end.
9. You tried to find a 99 cent, 24-hour tofu drive-thru to no avail. You know who's open late? Fast food!
8. Need to feed the family on a budget? It's called a Crave Case.
7. If you're smart, and not too big of a glutton, super-size that combo meal and you've got your calories for the day.
6. Broke vegetarian? No problem. 7-layer burrito has got you covered.
5. Penniless pescatarian? Long John Silver Lobster Bites are cheap and classy!
4. Ever tried eating an organic salad while you drive? That's dangerous! Fast food was made for busy Americans on the go.
3. Don't waste your money on expensive colonics or laxative teas. Get that colon rollin' with a greasy hash brown patty first thing in the morning.
2. You're drunk and down to your last $2. Nothing sobers you up like BK jalapeno poppers.
1. It tastes awesome. Admit it.
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