Paul Hartness, pictured, was reportedly bored and lonely. What did he do last night to bring a little excitement to his life, according to police in Boynton Beach, FL?
A) Get a pint of ice cream and do a crossword puzzle.
B) Learn to merengue.
C) Call cops in California to report that he was sexually assaulting a teenage boy, when, in fact, he was all alone.
Well, if you answered anything other than C, come on — we even bolded the right answer!
Cops were able to trace the call to Hartness' home. Hartness, 42, was charged with filing a false report. Too bad there's no charge for filing "an incredibly creepy false report."