Vampires may live forever, but alas, a desperate housewife does not. So, as teenage girls everywhere clamor over the latest big-screen installment of the pubescent Twilight series New Moon, so now, apparently are all those girls’ moms.
There are several websites devoted solely to “adult women and moms” who are obsessed with the vampire series. One group known as Twilight Moms even infiltrated the film set. But I felt the blog known as “Twitarded” is really living up to its name. Here's an excerpt:
I can't believe it, but it's finally here!!! After months and months of paying little attention to the countdown widgets scattered everywhere in the Twilight blogosphere, I now get excited every time I come across one (and almost had a heart attack a week or so back when suddenly a bunch of the counters inexplicably said 000:00:00:00). I just stare at them, mesmerized… And savor the closeness of the date – the hour – the minute – the second when the movie starts to roll – squeeeeee!!! It's so close that I can taste it! It tastes like sunshine and lavender and honey…and movie-theater popcorn…and vodka.
Now remember, all these women are over the age of 30. And if you’re familiar with the novels you’ll note there’s no real sex in them, but that apparently hasn’t stopped horny housewives. Adult fans are creating their own sex scenes in copious amounts of fan fiction, some of which have themes like "Edward and Bella do steamy office affair," or "Edward and Bella try out S&M."
And here is where it gets really disturbing. Move over Rabbit; apparently there’s a Twilight sex toy called “The Vamp.”
Don’t any of these ladies have a personal trainer?