I reached for my Tom's of Maine toothpaste this morning. I don't care that it's supposedly all-natural — because who gets tooth cancer? I just prefer the minty fresh taste.

And then, I brushed my teeth with shaving cream. 
Was I drunk? No. I was groggy, but I reached for the tube that clearly had mint written on it.  How could I be so stupid?

Yes, the one on the right is mint shaving cream my man bought one day when I wasn't looking, and the one on the left is my mint toothpaste.  Isn't it obvious?  I will add that the one on the left wasn't even on the counter at the time, as we'd just returned from a weekend away.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go shave my teeth.

Private to Tom's of Maine: WTF?? Since when is shaving cream mint and packaged in a toothpaste tube? Are you northerners trying to kill me?  Heck, my man almost wound up starring in an episode of Forensic Files due to this.  Let me guess, your deodorant comes in an orange can with a nozzle and is cheese scented?