Actually, it's just a creepy old coot in Florida named James Robert Chapman, pictured, who was just arrested on possession of child porn charges after police say he was stupid enough to leave a photo of a naked underage girl on a printer at a hospital where he works. Chapman allegedly had at least 500 illicit images of young children on his work computer.
Chapman's bail was set at $1 million probably, in part, due to his chilling resemblance to an undead Ralph Furley.
At what point can we take a large saw, detach Florida of the mainland and let it drift out to sea? How about next Thursday?