Welcome to the Final Four!
We’re closing in on our quest to name the richest, most reckless celeb of our time. The competition’s been fierce. There’s been ear biting, baby dangling, drunk driving (with and without Jewish slurs) and all around dysfunction worthy of the most tony rehab.
So without further ado…
What a difference a few months make! When we started this bracket, it seemed a fait accompli Britney would take it all, provided she survived the public scrutiny and her own ritual sacrifice. But a few months out of the limelight and she couldn’t even beat Michael Jackson. Not that Jackson’s a slouch when it comes to crazy, but his knockout of Britney, 71% to 28%, was the most lopsided late round victory.
Lindsay Lohan fended off Paris Hilton in a fair fight that could have gone either way, but ultimately didn’t. Lindsay garnered 55% of the votes to Paris’ 44%.
Robert Downey, Jr., defeated Mel Gibson, 58% to 41%, as Mel managed to stay out of the public eye long enough for our short memories to reset to zero. Is this country great or what?
And perhaps the biggest upset, Mike Tyson knocked out scrawny Amy Winehouse, 53% to 46%, despite Winehouse relapsing 47 more times since voting began. It seems, as with Michael beating Britney, that long time crazy and financial stupidity still count for something in this zany, messed up world. It’s almost enough to renew one’s faith in the entire electoral process.
Thanks to the more than 4,600 of you who voted (and curses to the rest). Your chance to make amends is coming up when the Final Four square off next week. Stay tuned and remember, rich and reckless is not just a state of mind, it’s a… (please use the comment section to finish this sentence. I got nothing).