An Ohio man who went out onto his deck and had sex with his metal picnic table multiple times between January and March of this year, has been sentenced to six months in jail.
Art Price Jr, pictured, admitted to this. A tipster dropped off three DVD’s showing this. And according to cops, he also admitted to having intercourse with the table inside the home.
In fact, if the married father of three had not decided to take his amour outside of the house, which happens to be in plain view of an elementary school, chances are that he could’ve continued to see his flat-chested friend indefinitely.
Instead, thanks to the mysterious Deep Throat of the lawn furniture world, and the tireless work of the police, Art is off to prison.
Wish I could be a fly on the wall when an inmate asks him, "What are you in for?"
Final dumb thoughts:
This guy gives new meaning to the word tabletop.
Having sex with a metal picnic table in the middle of an Ohio winter sounds more dangerous than sticking your tongue to a flag pole.
If you are seeing a table, and you go out to dinner, does it get jealous you are with other tables?