When General David Petraeus resigned on Friday, no one could have predicted how wild the story of his rumored extramarital affairs would become. Of course, since it is so shocking that a man in a position of power can’t keep his pants on, conservative conspiracy theorists are searching for an alternate explanation for why Petraeus was found out.

According to the internet rumor mill, Petraeus fell on his “sword” (ahem) so he doesn’t have to testify about the intelligence brouhaha that is forming around the embassy attack in Benghazi. The conspiracy site AntiWar alleges that instead of the affair being Petraeus’ idea, it was the work of Pamela Broadwell,  Petraeus’ biographer and the suspected “other woman.” 

The site suggests that “a young, attractive woman with impeccable national security credentials throws herself at Petraeus, and he takes the bait. Whether she’s been recruited by a foreign intelligence agency at this point or not is irrelevant: he’s already put himself in a vulnerable position, and there are any number of actors on the international stage more than willing to press their advantage.”

Another conspiracy site, the Electronic Intifada, claims that Petraeus was forced to resign because he made the Israel lobby mad by stating in 2010 that Israel was becoming a burden on the U.S.

And then there is the theory that this is all cover-up for gunrunning in Libya.

Now all we need is an Illuminati connection. T-minus 10 minutes until someone blames the Illuminati, Jay-Z and Suri Cruise. I’m sure they’re involved. Somehow.

UPDATE: Did Paula Broadwell just say the Benghazi attack was because of a secret prison?

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